The One, Absolute, Sure-Fire Way to Find Extraterrestrial Life

Alright, so, like anyone who grew up watching Star Trek, the idea of different alien races all hanging out appeals to me. That being said, anyone who’s checked with the experts will tell you that the odds of life in the 24th century being much like it was on Deep Space Nine is pretty low. Sucks, but it’s true.

That being said, I don’t believe in a no-win scenario. There’s no such thing as a problem that you can’t out-engineer, and this seems to me to be no different. So, how do you find alien life in a universe that’s infinitely expanding, especially since we really have no way of breaking the universal speed limit of 671,000,000 miles an hour? Well, let’s check the math with the time honored Drake Equation,

The Drake Equation:

N = R* X fp X ne X fl X fi X fc X L

where:
N = the number of civilizations in our galaxy with which communication might be possible;
and
R* = the average rate of star formation per year in our galaxy
fp = the fraction of those stars that have planets
ne = the average number of planets that can potentially support life per star that has planets
fl = the fraction of the above that actually go on to develop life at some point
fi = the fraction of the above that actually go on to develop intelligent life
fc = the fraction of civilizations that develop a technology that releases detectable signs of their existence into space
L = the length of time for which such civilizations release detectable signals into space.

Developed by Prof. Frank Drake in 1961, the equation is far from perfect, but can provide a rough draft for how many civilizations humanity theoretically rooms in the galaxy with. Obviously, the number you get is going to vary depending on all the numbers you put in. Drake’s original answer for N was 10, but that was 50 years ago, and our data is much better now. So, in the interest of expediency, let’s swipe the current estimate found on Wikipedia as of 1/17/11:

R* = 7/year, fp = 0.5, ne = 2, fl = 0.33, fi = 0.01, fc = 0.01, and L = 10000 years
result in
N = 7 × 0.5 × 2 × 0.33 × 0.01 × 0.01 × 10000 = 2.31

So, with there only being two species in the entire galaxy being able to communicate with each other (based on current estimates), one of those being us, and the galaxy being roughly 100,000 light years long (a light year is 5,878,625,373,183.608 miles, in case you’re wondering), we’re.. well, we’re pretty screwed if you want to talk to aliens.

Luckily, I have figured out the perfect solution. There’s no way this wouldn’t work guys, I promise you. The only thing we need to run into intelligent extraterrestrial life is this-
-A time machine.

Okay, stay with me here. Any culture with the technical ability to build a time machine would. That’s the only way to find out if your time machine works, after all. Building a time machine is really, really hard, so doing it requires a huge amount of knowledge. And a society smart enough to have that much science, well, they’re going to ask a lot of questions. Questions like, “How did the universe begin?” So, if scientists on any planet had a time machine, they would go watch the big bang, simply in the name of science.

Therefore: Every species in the entire history of the universe- past, present, and future- that has the technological ability to travel through time can be found at the Dawn of the Universe. Also, probably at the probable Heat Death of the Universe too. And they’re all there, all at once, because that’s how time travel works. If you time travelled to the Big Bang, you would witness everyone else who ever was or would be there as well.

From there, you could learn who and when is out there. Cultures already have a time machine, so they could go visit each other and open diplomatic relations. Time travel would automatically lead to interstellar connections.

Holy shit, guys. Star Trek can be real. Except instead of just being about space, IT’S ALSO ABOUT TIME. Someone start working on Time Trek right now.


*= Wow. Maybe I did watch Star Trek too much. But probably not, as that is a mathematical impossibility.

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